Baby Weight

Why is it that in today's society, we need to look perfect, be the perfect size, especially after having a baby??  My baby will be 4 months old on Saturday and I have weight to lose, weight that apparently doesn't want to go anywhere right now!  Most people say, "you just had a baby, relax."  My problem is that I can't relax!  I see all these moms who have a baby and a week later, you can't even tell.  I'm not sure why I let this bother me.  I know better.  But, it bothers me, it bothers me a lot.  I know that after 4 babies, I will not have a flat stomach probably ever again.  I really just want that pooch gone.  I want to wear all of my jeans again, not hide in my sweatshirts.  It is finally getting warmer here, and that means I will have to ditch my sweatshirts soon.  I feel like I am being judged for the way I look, like people are thinking that I am lazy and have all the time in the world to work out!  Come on, I have 4 kids!!  I know some people on Facebook who just always work out and say that other moms shouldn't have an excuse.  These moms have one or two kids and have someone to watch their kids when they want to work out.  Personally, I don't want to wake up even earlier in the morning just so I can work out.  I enjoy my sleep!  I have 4 boys who wear me out.  Once the warmer weather stays, we will be out doing more activities.  I just really don't like the way I look, at all.  I am very proud of my babies and what my body has done, but I don't want to still look pregnant 4 months later.  When I look at other moms, I never judge the way they look, they have kids, that is way things are.  Why in the world do I judge myself?!  I am surrounded by skinny girls.  Who knows what they may be thinking.  I am here to say that I am not lazy!  I have 4 kids who keep me very busy, I am constantly carting them around, chasing them around the house, trying to clean up after them, feed them, do their laundry.  I want to work out, believe me I do!  I have pinned all these workouts on Pinterest, thinking I could do them at night after they are sleeping.  Well, by that time, I am wore out.  All I want to do is watch a TV show and go to bed.  I would like to see all these celebrities who have fitness coaches, to lose the weight on their own, without anyone telling them what to do, making them do things.  After my second baby, I lost all the weight and a little extra.  I loved how I looked then and I want that back.  I want to wear all those cute clothes I bought.  My chest won't even fit in most of those because my boobs keep getting bigger with each kid.  That is not even fair.  Of course, the hubby says "you look great, you just had a kid, blah, blah, blah."  I don't even believe it anymore.  He has to say that :)  I don't like looking at myself, why would he?  I know I really need to work on these feelings.  I know they aren't healthy, but they won't go away.

Tired

We all know that having kids is hard and you get tired, but I don't think we really understand just how hard it is!  I am so tired, but have learned to just deal with it and some how keep going.  The fourth little boy arrived on January 1 of this year.  Four boys....that is hard!  They are active little boogers :)  I beat myself up everyday, wondering what I could have done better, why did I yell like that?  I don't like to yell, even though it seems that I have been doing a lot of it lately!  I wish I could get inside that head of the 4 year old and figure out why he does what he does.  Most days, I am beyond tired.  I sometimes doze off when I'm putting the almost 2 year old down for nap.  I feel bad when I do that though, like I should be cleaning, doing the dishes, putting away laundry, along with a million other things!  I wonder if I am the only one who knows how to do any of those things :)  Does anyone else ever feel like that?!  If you come to my house unannounced, you will see toys all over, probably some food on the floor, things stacked up on the dining room table and usually the counters have dishes sitting there.  I want my house to be clean, but honestly, I have 4 kids!  I want to play with my kids, spend time with them. I don't like when they ask to do things and I tell them it will have to wait because I need to clean up.  I have gotten good at little 5 minute clean ups during the day.  I need some of that energy that my kids have!  I feel like I am being judged for the way my house looks, how my kids act, how I look.  This post is really going in a bunch of directions!  Ok....parenthood is hard.  Those people who act like their life is perfect, their kids are perfect, they are lying!  My kids are great kids, but they are not perfect, they can be pretty naughty!  But, even though it is hard, it is still a pretty cool gig.  I had more I wanted to write, but I am pretty tired and there is a baby who will need a bottle soon.  Maybe I will attempt more tomorrow :)

30

Today I turned 30.  To be honest, this day has kind of sucked.  I have always looked forward to my birthday, to doing something fun.  My birthday really hasn't been anything spectacular the past few years.  Today, I got cranky boys, well-child check-ups, a sick little one and then the night at home with two of the boys.  I have been doing a lot of thinking lately.  See, being home all day everyday really isn't all it is cracked up to be.  I don't have places to go, friends to talk to, so I think.  30 years and what have I done?  I went to college, pretty much worthless because I am not working in my field and probably never will.  I have 3 great kids but they drive me crazy!  The 4 year thinks he doesn't have to listen and throws the biggest fits.  I feel like a failure as a mom because I can't get him to stop.  I get mad and yell and then feel horrible about it.  I don't want to be that way, but yet that is what is happening.  I need a break from my kids.  We know we all say and think that as moms.  My time away is grocery shopping which really isn't a break.  I don't have friends that I can call up and go hang out with.  This isn't some sob story, it is the truth.  I mean, my own siblings couldn't care less that today is my birthday (except one).  I have made friends here in Michigan, but none of those friendships seem to last for some reason.  It always happens the same way.  I think we are good friends because we hang out, talk on the phone, but then it all stops.  They don't answer my calls anymore, ignore my texts, or say they will come over and never do.  Then I have my hubby basically tell me that it is my fault because I have my "b**ch" face and scare people away because I don't talk.  That really makes a person feel great.  I stop talking because I can't handle the pain of loosing more friends.  I can't handle all the fake people, all the nice to your face and talk crap behind your back people.  Lately it seems that even though I have things in common with others, I am still left out of the conversation.  I get the feeling from some people that me getting pregnant was done because others were pregnant.  But, like I said, I do a lot of thinking and maybe that isn't a good thing.  I don't have anyone to talk to anymore, so now I will talk to you.  I just don't know what to think anymore.  If I just stay home, I don't have to deal with that pain.  I just don't have the energy to try anymore.  When I go back to WI, I have friends that I can call up and hang out with, I miss them.  I miss having those people in my life here.  Yeah, 30 is big and just really made me think about everything.  I'm not sure how I will like this whole 30 thing. 

Guess What?!

Hey, guess what?!  We got to see the baby yesterday.  You want to know something funny?!  We are having another boy!  I couldn't believe it!  The lady put the wand on my belly and the first thing we saw....his legs spread open sharing to everyone that he was indeed a boy!  I thought for sure since this pregnancy has been so much easier compared to the others and the simple fact that I haven't thrown up...I thought that was a good indicator that maybe we were having a girl.  I think I would make a perfect case study for a doctor :)  Jamie was not very happy about again getting another brother, he just really wants that sister.  Four boys, that is a bit crazy!  We do know boys though and there is always next time :)  Everything looked good with the little man.  On another note, I think it is safe to say that Oliver is potty trained!  He has even been waking up dry, for the most part.  This makes me very happy because I didn't want three kids in diapers.  I'm thinking of starting with Flynn soon.  I know he is a bit young, but I know when he is about to mess his pants!  Well, this will be short and sweet today.  Enjoy your day!

Can I Get a Break, Please?!

Our vacation is coming to an end in a couple of days and now my kids get some random virus!  Flynn got a random fever the other day, woke up with red bumps and was crabby.  I took him to see a doctor and turns out he has hand, foot and mouth!  Are you kidding me?!  Where did this come from?  Now tonight, Oliver got a fever out of nowhere!  We will see what tomorrow brings.  I am just hoping and saying lots of prayers that all the boys sleep tonight.  This momma is tired.  It is so hard when you know that sleep will help them feel better and they don't want to sleep.  I thought we were having a pretty good day.  Since I am from Wisconsin, I am a huge Green Bay Packers fan.  We watch the games back in Michigan when we get them, so the boys also like the Packers.  I thought it would be fun to head to the stadium today and go on a stadium tour and check out the new Pro Shop.  Flynn seemed to be feeling better, although he did get crabby towards the end of the tour.  The boys thought the stadium was super cool.  A couple of years ago, we took Jamie to their Family Night...which is just a Packers scrimmage, but is really affordable.  We got to walk out of the tunnel and go to the field, Jamie said that was his favorite.  I love being able to do fun things with them.  Oliver was doing fine the whole time.  He was fine when we got back and had supper.  Then we Skyped with daddy and he still seemed fine.  We said goodbye and then he just looked really tired and had a fever of almost 102.  I really hope he doesn't have the same thing as Flynn, but I'm not getting my hopes up.  We go back home Monday and I am hoping for healthy boys, otherwise that trip will not be very pleasant :)  I am so ready for bed.  Time to see if Jamie finally fell asleep and then it is bed time!

Hello

Here I am, I have not gone anywhere :)  We still do not have the internet....haha...no reason really, I just keep forgetting to sign up for it.  We have been really busy and it was placed on the back burner.  How about a nice update?!

 

We are in Wisconsin right now and a 2 week vacation.  Daddy was here for a week and then headed home to finish the wood floors in our house!  We ripped out the carpet like a year ago and found beautiful wood floors underneath.  They just needed to be sanded and a new stain.  I am very excited to have this done.  J is on break from school this month.  I have to say, our first full year of school went pretty well.  He loved kindergarten and did excellent!  I know every parent is going to say that, but he really did do an awesome job.  When he started, he could barely write his name.  Now, he is writing stories and reading like crazy.  He is in love with school and was sad when he was done.  I don't know what we would do if we had a whole 3 months off.  He starts first grade on August 4 and can't wait.  O did 2 day-a-week preschool this year and had a blast.  He will be going back in the fall for another year.  He was pretty quiet but loved going.  He has the same teacher again in the fall and I am hoping he will talk more.  He knows so much, but just needs to work on the shyness.  His teacher was awesome (as well as J's).  She did so much for O.  He was having issues with his fine motor skills and she made him his own tool kit with special scissors, markers, it was great!  We also had to head back to therapy for about 12 weeks with O.  He was having some issues again, so it was best to work on it.  He did great!  As for the baby, he is growing so fast!  He turned 1 at the end of April.  He has his few words that he says and has been walking for a few weeks now.  He is such a blast.  He loves to play with his brothers.  He chases them, tackles them, gives them hugs and kisses.  It has definitely been busy with 3 little boys, but come the end of the year, things will be a little bit crazier!  Baby number 4 is due beginning of January :)  We thought that after F turned one, it would be a good time to start trying.  Well, it didn't take long for that to happen!  I honestly thought it would be a few months, but I suppose I should know better.  I am really thinking that this one is a girl.  I have been feeling completely different this time.  I am super tired all the time but haven't been sick...knock on wood!  I have been nauseous, but way better than the last one.  My doctor doesn't seem to think I need to worry about a seizure happening again.  All the stress I had with the last pregnancy is gone and as long as I keep sleeping, I should be good!  I will end tonight with some updated pictures and will hopefully write again very soon!

I Miss You

I really do miss my blog.  I got a new computer, but now need the internet back.  I miss not writing every week.  This have been busy here.  We are in full swing with school with the two big boys.  JJ is loving kindergarten.  I think I have mentioned it on here, but he is going to a year-round school.  I wasn't so sure about it in the beginning, but I really like the schedule.  He has Spanish every day and is having a blast with that.  He says his Spanish words so well.  His writing has gotten so much better since the first day of school.  I love seeing all the changes and how he keeps learning.  He does his homework packet on Monday night, instead of spacing it out throughout the week.  He is definitely tired and ready for bed at night which I love.  It is just me at night and putting three, sometimes four little boys to bed is not an easy task.  We are on a new medication for his ADHD and this one seems to be working very well.  I still struggle at times with putting him on meds, but it has made such a huge difference.  He even notices that he can focus more and do more things.  I know that it was the right decision, but still a hard one.  Jamie also just had his 5th birthday!  I cannot believe how fast everything is going.  Oliver is having a blast in preschool!  I wasn't sad one bit on his first day.  When I pick him, he is excited to tell me everything he did.  He is so much more talkative and full of energy after school.  I am glad we decided to send him for an extra year of preschool, it has been really good for him.  He was looking at an alphabet book the day and told me some of the animals and what letter the word started with.  Oliver recently turned 3.  We are also making some headway on the water issue.  I got him to take a bath, but he needed his swimsuit on.  I really don't care, as long as he gets in that tub!  I have also been able to lay him on legs and wash his hair.  He isn't always a fan, but doesn't freak out like he used to.  He loves when it is bath time for Jamie because he goes in there and throws all the toys in and will play.  Flynn will be 6 months old next week.....where did that time go?!  He is all about eating food.  We just tried sweet potatoes today and he ate the entire thing, no funny faces, no messing around!  I made him a bunch of food last night, so I'm excited to start some new foods.  He is rolling from his back to belly, but can't always figure out how to roll back :)  He is such a good little man, and I'm not just saying that because he is my kid!  He barely cries during the day, has been sleeping through the night since he was about 2 months old, he is a very content little man, he likes to eat and then go to sleep! 

 

Jamie on his first day of school.

 

 

Oliver was a tad bit excited for school!  He was all decked out in his Mickey shoes, shirt and backpack.

 

 

And Flynn, he is just happy :)