I am....

So many different things. I am 31 weeks pregnant and ready to be done. I know having a child is a blessing, but I am sick of all the pains, feeling like dirt, being tired all the time, not being able to do a whole lot, and being super hot all the time. Just because someone is pregnant, does not mean they have to enjoy every minute! I just want to meet my new little boy. I'm anxious to see who he looks like, how similar/different he will be from my other son, and so many other things. I am happy that Jamie is starting to understand that there is a baby in mommy's belly. He likes to touch my belly, give hugs and kisses and says "hi Ollie." I wish I had another job. I only get about 4 hours a week at my current job and I need more. I'm so tired of worrying about our finances while others seem to be getting everything that they want. I don't want extra money to spend on foolish things, I just want to be able to pay our bills and not worry about it. I feel as though places of employment are holding my pregnancy against me. I know they can't, and they won't say they are, but you know it happens. I'm still very upset with the college I just graduated from for making me change my plans how many times and then didn't even let me graduate in the major that I wanted to. Of course, all the jobs I find right now are for social workers and my new degree is in behavioral science. I can still get counseling jobs, but don't know if people really want that social work degree. I feel like such a failure sometimes because of this. I know I did nothing wrong, but it still feels like I did, like I wasn't good enough. I also feel like I don't fit in to some places here. I try so hard to make new friends, but never get too far. I'm starting to think that it is time to give up, at least for a bit. I just can't do it anymore. I am also sick of most things that start with an "i".....you know, the ipads, iphones. I don't know. I just feel like they are making people lazy and rude. Do people know how to read a map anymore?! I don't need some silly app to tell me how to get somewhere, I can look it up and I can read a map! These things are all so expensive just to get them started. I have an ipod, but I could live without it! As you can see, there are so many things going through my head. I just need to relax and just forget about things. I need to focus more on our new baby coming. I need to get his little clothes washed and put in the bedroom. I also need to rearrange rooms upstairs. I also need to work on potty training the other little man. I know, he is only 21 months, but he tells us when he is poopy, pee pee, and tries to help change his diaper. My goal is to have him at least almost potty trained before the new baby. I think we can do it, we just need to stick with it.