Baby Weight

Why is it that in today's society, we need to look perfect, be the perfect size, especially after having a baby??  My baby will be 4 months old on Saturday and I have weight to lose, weight that apparently doesn't want to go anywhere right now!  Most people say, "you just had a baby, relax."  My problem is that I can't relax!  I see all these moms who have a baby and a week later, you can't even tell.  I'm not sure why I let this bother me.  I know better.  But, it bothers me, it bothers me a lot.  I know that after 4 babies, I will not have a flat stomach probably ever again.  I really just want that pooch gone.  I want to wear all of my jeans again, not hide in my sweatshirts.  It is finally getting warmer here, and that means I will have to ditch my sweatshirts soon.  I feel like I am being judged for the way I look, like people are thinking that I am lazy and have all the time in the world to work out!  Come on, I have 4 kids!!  I know some people on Facebook who just always work out and say that other moms shouldn't have an excuse.  These moms have one or two kids and have someone to watch their kids when they want to work out.  Personally, I don't want to wake up even earlier in the morning just so I can work out.  I enjoy my sleep!  I have 4 boys who wear me out.  Once the warmer weather stays, we will be out doing more activities.  I just really don't like the way I look, at all.  I am very proud of my babies and what my body has done, but I don't want to still look pregnant 4 months later.  When I look at other moms, I never judge the way they look, they have kids, that is way things are.  Why in the world do I judge myself?!  I am surrounded by skinny girls.  Who knows what they may be thinking.  I am here to say that I am not lazy!  I have 4 kids who keep me very busy, I am constantly carting them around, chasing them around the house, trying to clean up after them, feed them, do their laundry.  I want to work out, believe me I do!  I have pinned all these workouts on Pinterest, thinking I could do them at night after they are sleeping.  Well, by that time, I am wore out.  All I want to do is watch a TV show and go to bed.  I would like to see all these celebrities who have fitness coaches, to lose the weight on their own, without anyone telling them what to do, making them do things.  After my second baby, I lost all the weight and a little extra.  I loved how I looked then and I want that back.  I want to wear all those cute clothes I bought.  My chest won't even fit in most of those because my boobs keep getting bigger with each kid.  That is not even fair.  Of course, the hubby says "you look great, you just had a kid, blah, blah, blah."  I don't even believe it anymore.  He has to say that :)  I don't like looking at myself, why would he?  I know I really need to work on these feelings.  I know they aren't healthy, but they won't go away.

Tired

We all know that having kids is hard and you get tired, but I don't think we really understand just how hard it is!  I am so tired, but have learned to just deal with it and some how keep going.  The fourth little boy arrived on January 1 of this year.  Four boys....that is hard!  They are active little boogers :)  I beat myself up everyday, wondering what I could have done better, why did I yell like that?  I don't like to yell, even though it seems that I have been doing a lot of it lately!  I wish I could get inside that head of the 4 year old and figure out why he does what he does.  Most days, I am beyond tired.  I sometimes doze off when I'm putting the almost 2 year old down for nap.  I feel bad when I do that though, like I should be cleaning, doing the dishes, putting away laundry, along with a million other things!  I wonder if I am the only one who knows how to do any of those things :)  Does anyone else ever feel like that?!  If you come to my house unannounced, you will see toys all over, probably some food on the floor, things stacked up on the dining room table and usually the counters have dishes sitting there.  I want my house to be clean, but honestly, I have 4 kids!  I want to play with my kids, spend time with them. I don't like when they ask to do things and I tell them it will have to wait because I need to clean up.  I have gotten good at little 5 minute clean ups during the day.  I need some of that energy that my kids have!  I feel like I am being judged for the way my house looks, how my kids act, how I look.  This post is really going in a bunch of directions!  Ok....parenthood is hard.  Those people who act like their life is perfect, their kids are perfect, they are lying!  My kids are great kids, but they are not perfect, they can be pretty naughty!  But, even though it is hard, it is still a pretty cool gig.  I had more I wanted to write, but I am pretty tired and there is a baby who will need a bottle soon.  Maybe I will attempt more tomorrow :)