Failure

This might be a little depressing at times, or annoying, but I just need to type. Lately, I have been feeling like a failure. I have friends that in the same time it has taken me to get my 4-year degree, have gone onto graduate school and beyond! I know I shouldn't let it bother me. I have my own little family, two perfect little boys. But, I just can't get past it. I have a job, but it has nothing to do with my degree. I want a new job, I need one. I feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions and I can't do it anymore. I have a cleaning job....not always fun, but hey, it needs to be done.....but, I have so much stress from this job. I shouldn't have this much stress from a cleaning job! Then I come home and feel like I need to do everything around the house. I know some moms/wives don't mind doing the "woman's" jobs at home, it works for them. It doesn't work for me. I just don't have enough energy and time to get everything done that needs to be done. I can get the house nice and clean and two days later, it is a mess again. I know, I have kids, it is going to happen. It isn't like my house is gross or anything, but it doesn't look the way I want it to. I feel like I am going to be judged by most people that come to my house. Maybe I just need to suck it up and get over it. When I go to bed at night, I think about the things I didn't get done and how much it bothers me, or what the hubby will think when he gets home. I shouldn't be thinking about that stuff when I'm going to sleep. I almost feel guilty for going to bed. The boys want me all the time. I can't leave the room without one or both of them freaking out. But, I love my boys and I'm glad they want me around, but I also need breaks. I get so overwhelmed when I think about the things that need to be cleaned, having to do everything for the boys, the fact that I didn't go grocery shopping for this week and will now have to go with both boys by myself. I need a new plan. A better plan. Ok, I'm going to stop complaining now. I've just hit a hard patch. Let the thinking begin.