Some Thoughts

Have you ever felt judged for how you do things just by what people write on their blogs, or on the internet, or what they say?  Even if they are just talking and not saying it towards anyone?  I've been feeling that a lot lately.  I see things on blogs, or Facebook, or just people talking.  I know that they aren't talking about me, but it is just the tone that comes across.  It got me thinking....which my dad always warned me about because I might hurt myself :) 

So, you know what?!  I love butter!  That is right, I put it on almost everything.  Paula Deen would be proud of the all the butter I used to make hash browns tonight.  I am all about eating healthy, but come on.  I'm not going to get rid of everything and just live off of beans and grass.  We may have gone gluten free, but we still eat yummy foods.  Another thing, I had epidurals with both boys and definitely plan on doing it again.  Good for you if you can do it without, but me, can't do it!  If I can have some lovely drugs to take the pain away, I'm all for it.  I went 6 or 7 hours with Jamie and that was all I could do.  Oliver, that pain was so intense from the very beginning.  I loved that with Oliver, after I got that epidural, I just laid back in my bed, watched some music videos on CMT and pushed out a lovely little boy :)  My babies were formula fed.  I have nothing against breast feeding moms, but it was just a personal choice for me.  The thing that bothers me, is that you get some moms who get a little crazy and think that if you give your babies formula, then you are a bad mom.  I think that is where I feel most judged and it isn't even people saying things to me personally.  My boys are perfectly healthy.  Jamie had his fair share of ear infections but then Oliver, not a single ear infection....ever!  Oliver would drink a gallon of milk in 2 days if I let him....I've heard that supposedly, dairy causes ear infections.  Oliver also has asthma, but so do I and I was breastfed.  Something else, I love rocking my babies!  I was thinking about this the other day and how much I missed it.  I rocked Jamie to sleep til he was about 13 or 14 months old.  Oliver was much younger, but he just wanted to lay in his bed and go to sleep on his own.  I love snuggling with them.  They are only young once.  That rocking time, that was my special time with them.  It was just the two of us, we could talk.  Well, I would talk and they would stare!  Stick that pacifier in when nothing else would work, golden.  I can't wait to snuggle this new baby and rock him/her.  Now, this post isn't meant to judge or put anyone down.  I am just putting myself out there.  I know there are other moms out there like me :)  I am also a baby wearing, cloth diapering mama.  I love my Moby wrap and Ergo carrier.  But, just because I use cloth diapers, doesn't mean that it happens all the time.  I have some right now that really need to be washed and Oliver has been wearing regular diapers.  I really do prefer the cloth ones.  They cost a little more money when you first get started, but that is it.  Obviously, it is more work, but it saves us money.  And, they are pretty cute!  Most times in our house, you will find the TV on.  At night, it is me....all me!  During the day, I think it is on mostly for noise.  The boys watch some cartoons in the morning, but then they are off playing in their room, or playing downstairs and really don't pay any attention to the TV.  So why is it on?  Good question! 

So, there it is!  Hopefully some of you understand where I am coming from.  This is what works for me.  Plus, I really don't like feeling as if I'm being looked down upon.  Well, this mama needs to hit they hay!

Alone Time

Today I am 7 weeks, but feel and look further.  According to my scale, I have already gained a little over 10 pounds.....come on!  I am barely eating because I feel like crap.  The beginning of the week seems to be better.  I think I have been pushing myself too far.  After this sickness part passes, I will be able to do so much more again. 

Alone time....sounds wonderful :)  If only the boys would take decent naps!  The hubby has been feeling a little left out since I got pregnant.  I pretty much don't want to be by anyone.  I just feel gross.  I know he just wants to spend time with me.  He does have a work dinner tonight and I am going with him.  Even though I feel like dirt, it should be a good time.  Plus, tomorrow is Saturday so I can sleep in :) 

Speaking of tomorrow, we are having a little party for the boys.  I feel kind of bad though because I'm not sure if any of their little buddies are able to come anymore.  I know that they probably won't care, it is still their day.  I got some cool Avengers decorations.  Maybe a little too much, but who cares!  I will make cupcakes tonight and decorate them in the morning.  We are going to have Mickey, Iron Man and Captain America cupcakes. 

Want to hear something funny?  Jamie and I were talking about the baby the other night....and he really wants a sister...but, he told me: "Mom, I don't know if the baby will have a big butt or not cuz daddy has a big butt!"  What in the world?!  I'm not sure where that came from.  Makes me laugh though! 

Vacation Pictures

Ok, how about a post that isn't so down?!  How about some lovely pictures of two handsome boys?  Our vacation to Wisconsin was a good time.  The picture below is of Jamie wearing Uncle Nick's football jersey at one of his games.  I love his thumbs up!

 

 

 

Jamie also got his very own fishing pole....a cool Buzz Lightyear one that lights up when you cast it.  He got to go fishing a couple of times and even caught a fish or two.  Here is he fishing with grandma.

 

 
This little boy melts my heart!  His who face lights up when he smiles.  He had a blast getting to see everyone and play outside all the time.  And the little man happens to have a birthday tomorrow and will be two!

 

The boys went on tractor rides almost everyday, especially Jamie!  I was shocked when I looked out the window and saw Oliver going for a ride.  He wouldn't go near the tractor when it was on.  These two little guys are farm boys at heart.

 

Oliver was in love with the kitties!  Funny thing, he hates our cat and gets super scared when he sees him.  He held those kitties every time he was outside. 

 

Jamie also loves kitties.  He would cuddle with them in the chair, sit on the ground with them, and just play with them in general.

 

The big county fair goes on during Labor Day weekend.  This fair happens to be at the fairgrounds in my parent's back yard.  We went to the parade on Saturday and as you can see, Jamie was happy to be there.  This was taken when he saw all the tractors coming.

 

Not only does he love kitties, but he loves horses.  They had pony rides at the fair and Jamie couldn't wait to ride one.  He had a giant smile the entire time.  Oliver said he wanted to go on, but when it came time to it, it was a no-go. 

 

Oliver did however love going on this ride.  I have pictures of me on this same ride at this age...and I mean this same ride :)

 

Here are the boys with their Wisconsin cousins: Kaydence, Laylah, and Levi.  The smiled so nicely and my boys...nothing!

 

 

My dad has his own polka band and the boys love polkas!  Oliver was very interested in my dad's concertina.  He wanted to help him play and watched him very closely.

 

My dad's band played at the fair on Monday and the boys got to enjoy some of that before we had to leave.  They are all about music and dancing :)

Complaints

Ok, beware....I'm going to complain about some things in this post!

I love that we are bring another baby into this world, but oh my word!  This time around is super hard.  Being pregnant is not easy or fun for me.  I don't mean to offend anyone....those who love being pregnant!  I am very lucky that I can have children, I know that.  I just want the throwing up to stop!  It is never the same thing that causes it.  I never got sick with Jamie and only got sick a few times with Oliver....but I felt sick all the time for about 4/5 months.  I'm pretty sure I have gotten sick more than I ever did with Oliver.  I hate feeling like this.  I want to play with my boys, go in my kitchen without wanting to throw, heck, just be able to sit without feeling gross.  The thing with the kitchen....I smell something that nobody else smells!  It smells nasty and smells are not treating me well this time around.  I really wish that I could be one of those ladies that just enjoys being pregnant and can do anything.  After the 4th or 5th month, I usually get better.  I missed Sunday lunch yesterday because I got sick in the morning and just felt horrible all day.  I layed in bed the entire day.  Now today, I still feel like crap.  I still feel like I could throw up all over the place, no matter what I eat.  I know I am getting dehydrated, but drinking makes me feel gross.  I have a full water bottle next to me and I am making myself drink.  I can barely sit or walk right now without feeling like I could fall over.  I know, I know, stop your complaining.  You should be happy that you are able to have kids.  I just wish that I didn't have to feel this gross. 

Then I think about the boys and how happy they are for a new baby, especially Jamie.  He wants a sister!  He rubs my tummy and says he waved to the baby.  He likes to tell me how my belly is getting bigger. 

It is sometimes hard to be happy when not everyone around you is happy.  When someone tells you to your face that you are stupid and an idiot for getting pregnant....makes things difficult.  Then you have people who act differently around you.  I know that some days my kids drive me crazy and I want to scream, but what parent doesn't have that!?  I have one child that is either ADD or ADHD and another who has Sensory Processing Disorder.  This is no excuse or a pity card, but it makes things a little harder.  Luckily, we have changed Jamie's diet around and are getting help with Oliver and things are getting better.  But, that is no reason to not have any more kids.  I want more kids....even though I feel like crap! 

Ok, I got my complaining out and I'm sorry if I offended anyone.  I feel better getting it out there. 

Baby on Board

Well friends, we have a baby on board!  We found this out on our vacation :)  Funny thing, I was getting sad because I felt like my shirts were not fitting right.  Right now I am 6 weeks, but look a bit further along than that!  I can't suck it in, I had to break out the maternity pants, and I have a definite baby bump.  I know it is pretty early to tell people, but like I said, there is no hiding it!  Jamie was very excited when we told him, he said, "oh wow!"  He now tells me that my belly is getting bigger and he likes to touch my belly and "wave" to the baby.  He really wants a sister, that is all he talks about.  Oliver now loves babies and loves to be around them.  He points to my belly and says "baby in there." 
So far, this pregnancy isn't that much different from the first two.  I feel sicker than a dog and have gotten sick.  One difference is that smells are really getting to me this time.  I smell something in our refrigerator, something horrible, but no one else smells it!  I am also very tired.  It could be just because I have worked a ton this week.  I took two naps yesterday and I also went to bed at 9:30 the night before!  I did the same last night, which means at 10, it is past my bed time!  I think I'm going to hit the hay.  We are getting pictures taken in the morning.  Have a good night!

Vacation

So, where is that post that I said I would write after therapy the other week?!  Well, yeah, that didn't happen!  The boys ended up getting a lovely cough the other week.  Jamie's only lasted a few days, so no big deal.  Oliver on the other hand, not the case.  He has asthma, so when he gets a cough, it is never just a simple cough.  After a couple of days, it was getting worse and he was starting to wheeze and gag.  I knew it wasn't a simple cough.  On Thursday night, I took him to urgent care.  Oliver's cough turned out to be pneumonia.  Did I mention that I were leaving 2 days later for Wisconsin?!  He was pretty miserable, but at least we got some answers and some meds.  This was the first time that he had been on any type of medicine, besides his heartburn and asthma stuff.  Friday, he had therapy.  Yes, I still took my sick child to therapy.  This was his last scheduled appointment and we needed to get the rest of his appointments set.  He was actually pretty good.  He played really nice and didn't really act sick.  His therapy is really helping!  As I have said before, his speech has taken off.  He is also getting better with water.  At his last appointment, he went right to the water table and wanted to play.  He still isn't putting his hands down in the water, but he is touching things that are wet.  We were also out in the rain the other day and he just laughed!  Then, on Saturday morning we left for Wisconsin to visit my family.  We were there for 10 days.  I will post about that later after I get all the pics on the computer.  What is a post about a vacation without any pictures?!  Things have been pretty crazy since we got back.  I have to much unpacking to do and need to get the house in order.  Next week is going to be even more crazy.  Jamie starts gymnastics, school, Fireflies, and Sunday school!  Oh, and Oliver starts feeding therapy :)

Water Play

How about some water play for Oliver?!  That is right, Oliver!  Now, it is nothing huge, but he is getting there!  In therapy last week, he went right over to the water table.  He doesn't stick his hand in the water but touches things that his therapist brings out.  I was washing my hands the other day and he was watching me, as he usually does, and put his hand up and said "me!"  I touched one of his hands with my wet hand and then he wiped it off, just like mommy.  Then he wanted to do it with daddy and made him go in the kitchen and wash his hands.  Later that day I put a little water in a bowl and gave Oliver some blocks to play with.  He put the blocks in and would take them out.  He wasn't a huge fan when the water touched his hand, but we have been teaching him to "shake it off" and that has been helping.  I'm glad that we are seeing improvement in this area.  Now, if we could only get the food thing under control!  He is on the waiting list for speech therapy.  I will post more on Friday after his appointment :)