Nervous

I'm getting nervous about having this baby.  I think it has been on my mind lately because my sister-in-law is about to have her first baby any day.  I remember being so scared with Jamie.  He wasn't planned and I was not prepared for anything.  He was a very good surprise, but one that scared me.  I was nervous with Oliver because of the horror of Jamie's birth and I was scared that it would happen again.  Jamie was induced, a very long labor, epidural was done wrong and wore off, he got stuck, needed forceps, and I had other issues for almost a month after he was born.  Oliver came on his own, very quick labor, hard and fast contractions, a very nice epidural and he came out just fine!  I know that I am not crazy for being nervous about delivery.  It is a very scary thing.  Sure, our bodies were built for this, but it is still such a hard thing on the body.  I worry about the baby, I worry about me, I worry about the hubby passing out :)  Now, I have two little boys to worry about and how they will handle the new baby.  I am not nervous about that though.  Jamie did very well with Oliver and understands so much more now and can't wait to be a big brother again.  Oliver loves babies now and we talk a lot about the baby and how he can help and pick out a special blanket for the baby.  The boys each have a special blanket that they were given at birth and both fell in love with them.  With Jamie, we had to buy another one so I could wash the first one!  No other blanket would do!  The same thing happened with Oliver.  So, this time, we are buying two blankets right away :)  Anyway, back to being nervous.  I get nervous about the pain.  I know, I'm a wimp!  I will totally take advantage of that epidural!  I know that I cannot handle that pain.  The pain was something I was also not prepared for with Oliver.  At least with Jamie, it was gradual.  Oliver, they started a little after 3am and were a minute apart by 3:30!  I shouldn't worry about any of this though.  I will get a precious little baby out of the deal!  Everything we go through is totally worth it.....although it doesn't seem like that while we are in the process!  Alright, enough of thinking about it!  We are going to a Christmas parade tonight and I need to prepare for that.